the Butterfly

I have my Elliptical machine in a side garden room. As I live in Arizona, I open the doors to let the breeze go through.

Today while I was working out a beautiful butterfly flew in the room. It flew up to the side skylight windows and tried to get out.

As I watched the butterfly ~ I could identify with it.

Something so fragile and beautiful yet strong trying to get out of its current situation. It knew where it wanted to go, could even see it, yet it could not manage to get there no matter how hard it tried. I watched it struggle for a while, then went to help.

How to help? Would it accept help? Would I actually help or harm this beautiful creature?

It took some time, but I did manage to get the butterfly out of the room ~ it flew away in freedom.

The Heart

With each beat the heart speaks.

Within the heart there is life.

Within the heart there is love.

Within the heart there is joy & happiness.

Within the heart there is pain & sorrow.

So much this small organ can hold and handle.

Tide of Life

I went kayaking for the first time five years ago off of the west coast of Florida. I instantly fell in love with it. It is one of the most peaceful things I have ever done.

It was low tide when I set out about my journey. I happened upon a very small island, maybe three hundred square feet total. It was made up entirely of shells from long ago. It was the most beautiful sight my eyes had beheld in quite a while.

I picked up as many of the shells that I could ~ a picture of them is seen above.

On the way back to the shore, I got to thinking about that island and tides, both high and low. I have lived by the ocean most of my life. Whenever we were thinking of going to the beach, we would always check to see when low tide was. That was the best time to go, as more of the shore was exposed. The lower the tide the better for exploring. However, without the high tide, there would be nothing new brought in upon the shore. Both have their purpose. You can not have one without the other.

Such as in life. You can not have the highs without the lows. If you only had one, how would you know which it is ~ high or low?? Both are needed to sustain a balance in life.

If it had not been low tide, the beauty of that island would have been lost.

Besides a basket of shells and wonderful memories, this is what I came away with ~ Don't let the tides of life hide your beauty. It is in the low moments that your true beauty is revealed.

Breathe, Relax and Sleep

Many people have asked for & benefited from a relaxation technique I came up with years ago. I hope it helps you.

Get ready for bed, however you normally do, brush teeth, PJ's all that good stuff. Turn everything off, no lights, no music... Dark and Quiet room.

Lay Down

Close your eyes and take three deep breaths; in through your nose, out through your mouth, really slow. Each breath getting deeper.

Now as you lay there you are going to work from you toes to your head. Visualize relaxing each toe; really truly relaxing; feel the muscles loosen. Keep breathing slow and deep.

Work your way up your body, breathing and relaxing. This is to be your only thought and focus ~ breathing and relaxing. If other thoughts creep in start over. Three deep breaths and relax your toes.

Do this as much as you need to, until you are completely relaxed and sleeping.

In time you can use this technique whenever you feel under stress.

BREATHE :)

Breathe ~ 2001

Breathe
Un Stress
De Stress
No Stress
Breathe

Dreams ~ 2001

Dreams are wishes your heart makes.

Dear Lord ~ 2001

Dear Lord,

Please grant me the strength to get through another day of my life. I am trying to throw all of my burdens on you. All I want is to serve you with all of my soul. I know you will make all things possible in your own time. Please be patient with me as sometimes I am not patient with you. Realize what I want and need and what is best for me.

The Seasons ~ 1996

Spring

Young woman, Spring, dancing in the warming sunlight with happiness on her face, and blossoms in her flowing hair.

Oblivious to the snow capped mountains, busy gathering flowers and saying Hello to the buzzing bees and nesting birds.

Leaning over the fence as friends dig and plant in the warm soil, always cheerful and full of grace.

Summer

Unpredictable as a young boy is Summer.

Full of fun, with so much to do, plans and picnics and trips.

Hot and stormy, full of temper and rage, soon to be tired and sullen; but as many will say, this time is best.

Fall

A definite woman is Fall, because a woman can always change her mind, her mood, her clothing, the color of her hair.

and so can Fall, from the warm, almost hot back to school days to those tempered with frost.

When garments are changed from green to gold and orange, and winds can hustle things about and move them wherever they will.

Fall, proud, accomplished and clear eyed looks ahead, just like a woman.

Winter

Winter a man must be ~ cold and crisp, harsh if it chooses, challenging, unrelenting, decisive ~ definitely a "He."

Wearing a dark gray business suit and blue shirt with maybe a red tie as a bit of brightness ~ definitely a "He."

Winter, persistent, stubborn, strong, courageous, full of ego, free to be itself ~ definitely a "He."

Laziness ~ 1996

Laziness, like a cat
sleeps through the day
looking at the world with
half-closed eyes
not really caring what happens
even though aware

Reversal ~ 1996

I used to live in a house, now I live in a box.
I have no money for food or clothing ~ I'm Homeless

I do fine when it is pouring sunshine,
but when it is pouring rain, I could die ~ I'm Homeless

People drive by me almost all day, they seem rich compared to me.
No one stops, remembers me or notices ~ I'm Homeless

Once in a while a kind person walks by, gives me some money, some time, a slight smile.
Otherwise I'm like an old book; wet, dirty, thrown away ~ I'm Homeless

Animal appetite is what I have, a growing craving within.
I steal and beg for things I don't own, but must possess, to stay alive ~ I'm Homeless

I constantly carry my heavy bag loaded with despair, rejection, loneliness and fear.
If I could but leave it somewhere and go on as before, but ~ I'm Homeless

the swan

Beautiful and yet lost in it's element.

Searching for something.

It seems that it is at peace, but is it?

My hope is that it finds what it is looking for;

That it will be at peace;

That it will be found;

and that it's true beauty will be revealed.

Twitter B & B

So I had this brilliant idea tonight! At least it sounds brilliant, hehe.

It is really just combining several of my loves... but comes down to the most basic love of mine ~ making people happy :)

I love to entertain, to cook, to comfort people, to please people and make them feel loved.

I have met some wonderful people on Twitter who always have a special place in my heart <3

So here comes my brilliant idea ~ DANGER DANGER DANGER

When I have the funds, I would like to open a Twitter Bed and Breakfast. My Twitter friends from all over are welcome anytime. At the very least we should meet up once a year or so.

Now accepting reservations!

Inventory

Ok ~

I will be honest with you, as I always am. Firm believer in open & honest communication.

The last three days have basically been spent crying. I go through this every now and then, get in a blue mood, cry and then snap out of it. Well, this time something snapped, but not the way it normally does. Normally, I just push the feelings deeper inside and forget about them and move on until next time. But this time that is not what is happening and it is strange. Why, after all these years, is it changing now? I've tried to change it in the past, only to realize I am in the same spot in my life, just in a different state, literally.

So what made the difference?? Trying to really figure this out, but the best I can come up with right now is the following:

For the first time in my life, I feel, no I know, I have people in my life that really care about me. The thing is, they have come into my messed up life just within the last few months. Before that, I had no idea they existed. I hoped that they did, but did not know for sure.

Having people truly care about me is very strange to me. I am usually the one everybody goes to for anything at anytime. This I do not mind, never have. I actually enjoy it. I am glad I can have a part to make someones life better. I have always wished for that to be truly reciprocated, and until three months ago, it never really was. I guess, whatever higher power you believe in, sees that you get what you need when you really need it and are ready for it and not before, no matter how much you beg.

I have found that it does not matter your age, where you live, what you believe or don't believe that unites people; It is what is in your heart that truly & honestly unites people.

Now ~ down to taking inventory:

I have taken inventory of these special people and they all have a place in my heart. My only hope is that they know this.

I am starting to literally take inventory of my life. All of these things ~ do I really need them? I think not.

I have a plan in mind. Just need to put it on paper. Then follow through with action. if I do not do it now, I never will and I will be in the same place I have always been. That just won't do! If anyone is interested in my plan, just ask.

As I've told many people: It starts with the consciousness of what needs done, then the effort and then the follow through.

It will be done! So say I!

That being said, if anyone needs anything just ask, I probably have it :)

Addictions/Attachments

I get addicted to things to quickly; Twitter, Blogger ~ form attachments at the drop of a hat or a friendly hello.

I have always been this way tho' ~ give freely and willingly and rarely get anything in return, so I end up getting hurt. But I just can't stop. I say what I mean and mean what I say. Anytime, anything ~ whenever, whatever; if you need something and I can help I will.

How do you explain this without sounding all ego driven, I don't know. Trust me I do not have an ego, just the opposite in fact.

Although, recently I have had the great joy of having some people enter my life, granted they are at a distance, but they are helping me in ways I don't think they will ever fully understand.

Much love to them :)

Tears

You know how to make me cry ~ you say you are sorry and I know you are.

When you make me cry they are usually good tears and if they aren't, they are tears I can't cry on my own and they need to be cried.

My only wish would be to be able to cry in your arms ~ then I might be done with crying forever.

You have a special place in my heart forever and a day <3

Irony

I find myself thinking about something 25/8 without having ever experienced it.

Only reasonable conclusion that I can come up with as to why I think about it all the time is because of what happened to me when I was little.

I work very hard at keeping it under wraps sort to speak, only because I am afraid of what might happen if I accept it and go with my thoughts.

I guess thinking never hurt anyone.....

Validation & Appreciation

No matter what we have been through in our life, no matter how old we are or where we live, we all desire the same thing ~ To have our life validated by others and to be appreciated.

For some reason, people think too much of themselves to just get to the bottom of things and just be the loving and caring people we were made to be. People overthink things way too much.

I'm reminded of a saying: K.I.S.S. ~ Keep It Simple Stupid

If someone does something for you, show that you appreciate it ~ somehow. Can be as simple as a smile. Granted most people only do things in order to get "repaid" somehow; but for the few of us out there that do things because they care, show your appreciation.

Same with validation ~ it can be as simple as repeating something a person has said, sharing an experience. Just to know that you matter and/or made a difference in someone's life, no matter how big or small.

We all deserve to be appreciated and validated ~ think of how the world would be if we all were.

With that being said ~ I would like to thank anyone who has ever been a part of my life. Even if you do not know how, you have made a difference in my life.

Thank You

Listen...

I have so much to say ~ but who will really listen?

why even bother......

Amazing

It is amazing the power some things have ~

Peoples words and actions

Music

Weather

The one thing all of these have in common is their affect on ones mood.

Ok, so you can't control other people or the weather; but you can have control over what you allow in your life and to what extent.

I hope this makes whoever reads this realize the power they have, not only on others, but on themselves as well and to only use that power for good :)