Inventory

Ok ~

I will be honest with you, as I always am. Firm believer in open & honest communication.

The last three days have basically been spent crying. I go through this every now and then, get in a blue mood, cry and then snap out of it. Well, this time something snapped, but not the way it normally does. Normally, I just push the feelings deeper inside and forget about them and move on until next time. But this time that is not what is happening and it is strange. Why, after all these years, is it changing now? I've tried to change it in the past, only to realize I am in the same spot in my life, just in a different state, literally.

So what made the difference?? Trying to really figure this out, but the best I can come up with right now is the following:

For the first time in my life, I feel, no I know, I have people in my life that really care about me. The thing is, they have come into my messed up life just within the last few months. Before that, I had no idea they existed. I hoped that they did, but did not know for sure.

Having people truly care about me is very strange to me. I am usually the one everybody goes to for anything at anytime. This I do not mind, never have. I actually enjoy it. I am glad I can have a part to make someones life better. I have always wished for that to be truly reciprocated, and until three months ago, it never really was. I guess, whatever higher power you believe in, sees that you get what you need when you really need it and are ready for it and not before, no matter how much you beg.

I have found that it does not matter your age, where you live, what you believe or don't believe that unites people; It is what is in your heart that truly & honestly unites people.

Now ~ down to taking inventory:

I have taken inventory of these special people and they all have a place in my heart. My only hope is that they know this.

I am starting to literally take inventory of my life. All of these things ~ do I really need them? I think not.

I have a plan in mind. Just need to put it on paper. Then follow through with action. if I do not do it now, I never will and I will be in the same place I have always been. That just won't do! If anyone is interested in my plan, just ask.

As I've told many people: It starts with the consciousness of what needs done, then the effort and then the follow through.

It will be done! So say I!

That being said, if anyone needs anything just ask, I probably have it :)