Woke up that morning in a wonderful mood, had tons of energy; both of which were true every morning back then. I had plans to meet a friend to see a movie and had errands to run before that. I got ready for a great day. Washed my car and filled the tank with gas. Going to get the oil changed later. I loved my car, not even yet a year old; it had brought me from California to Arizona along with all of my stuff. We had been through a lot.
It was a beautiful spring day in Arizona and I was listening to one of my favorite CD's as I drove to the mall to meet my friend. A CD I have not listened to since the accident, not sure I ever will. I was traveling down a road I had been on at least twice everyday for the last 3 months anyways, if not longer.
Shortly before 1pm, my life changed. Usually change is a good thing; I am trying to embrace the positives of this change, however, the negatives outweigh the positives. But I try.
I have tried not to think about what happened, unless I meet with my lawyer or a bill comes in, tho' I live with the results of that change every day. When I think about what happened or see the pictures, I get physically ill. Needless to say the last week or so, I have been ill most of every day. My Deposition is to take place tomorrow. I have a 5" binder full of information that I need to review by then to prepare. I will have the "joy" of reliving what happened almost 4 years ago. How the deposition goes is all on me. My lawyer has confidence in me, I wish I was as sure. I would rather give a speech in front of thousands naked then do this... although that is quite similar... everything about me will be openly exposed.
My life changed because someone did something extremely stupid.... in less than a second, my life was forever changed. They are just fine; They got to drive their car home; They got to have almost 4 years of their life as it always was.... not me.
My lawyer says I have a good case, and that I should end up with 5 figures, tax free after everyone gets paid. I would rather of had my life the way it was and had almost 4 years of how it was then 5 figures tax free. What a price to pay...
I have tried not to go into detail about the accident itself as I do not want to upset anyone... If anyone wants to see pictures of what was left of my car, I will share. I will say this: One car that was just fine started this; 4 cars total involved. 2 cars, mine included were totaled. I was hit by a car on the drivers side, went through an intersection and hit another car on the passenger side. Both airbags deployed. Windshield broke as well as the front axle. The engine of my car was pushed in more then 21", broke the firewall and I had oil in the back seat. I had to be cut out of the car. All of that and no blood or broken bones ~ just "soft tissue damage", I hate that term.
People say I am lucky to be alive ~ sometimes I wonder. Yes, I did not have any broken bones or need any operations, I wish I had. Instead I have a permanent back injury that I try and maintain from getting worse. I was told that if I fell or was in another accident, it would not be good. You call how I am now "good"... I certainly do not. People ask if I have gotten better. I have not, nor will I get "better".... I have gotten used to the pain and being limited in what I do, it happens almost 4 years later... you get used to it. I will never be better.
My life needs to change again ~ in a good way.
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